Ridiculous that I've not posted since February... Ridiculous!
I've started to make some life changes for myself these last few weeks. I started taking karate with a co-worker and have met a teacher I really enjoy so far. She's a bit lenient for my tastes (there's mainly young kids in the class) but I'm having a good time and wanting to do more. I successfully sparred an 8th Degree Black Belt last class and beat him so I'm pretty excited. I'm going to ask my sensei tomorrow what she thinks about me competing in our state amateur games. I would be soooo pumped if I'm cleared to compete!
I met a great woman a few weeks back who does personal training, for lack of a better way to describe it, and I'm meeting with her tomorrow to go over my "goals" and such. I don't know what she could do for me but I think it was meant for us to meet. I hope we can work something out where I can afford to have her help me. On top of all this, I've joined a gym! haha. My mom, graciously, offered to fund a month-to-month contract gym membership where there is a pool, weights, group classes, ect. that I can use any day of the week. I've been swimming more and hope with my trainer's help (or at least the free session I get with one of the gym trainers) I can get on track with the weights and cardio again.
I'm also actively looking for other employment. It's exhausting, more so when my ideal job is still mostly undefined. The main criteria seems to just recently be not where I am now. Other than going in a LP career with my current company, I've reached the end of the line (and the end of my rope). I don't desire to be a CSM and I just need to find what makes me tick. I've semi-committed to living here for at least the time being. All of my family is here as well as most of my friends and it's... I dunno... Easier? Maybe. Unless something randomly amazing comes along, I'm here indefinitely I guess. I'm more ok with that than I would've been even a month ago but I still dream of world travel. I want to make that happen so badly. I'm just running out of money and don't make enough regardless to support myself if it weren't for my family helping me.
As far as A is concerned, I was surprised (and angry/disappointed) with her because she sent me a FB message the day after my birthday. I didn't contact her for her birthday (Rude? Maybe, but it's what I felt was best for me) and I was not expecting her to cross my boundary. It actually wouldn't have been that bad had it just been a simple "Happy Birthday" or something that was no more than a sentence. Instead I was given 3-4 paragraphs which included a mention of how she misses me. Well... Ain't that tough shit, huh? Guess you should've thought of that before you walked out on me and into the arms of someone else mere days afterwards. I think she thought I'd have talked to her by now, which just goes to show you how much she did not know me. I'm quite restrained when it comes to removing myself from situations that I don't feel are good for me anymore. I see no real benefit of her being in my life. It's over and I'd like to move on and up to someone that will match me step for step and not be in my shadow. I deserve better! She deserves to grow up and grow a "pair".
Anyway...
Something will come up for a job... I know it... I've put the intention out in the universe. I've seen recently how opening myself up for change has allowed that change to happen. It's certainly time.
