Not much new to report in the sense that certain behaviours of O haven't really improved. Again, I seem to blog only when I'm upset never when good things happen between us, which they had been last month. Right now it's been at least two weeks since she's been with me and I'm just frustrated right now. It seems like there's always something lately that has blocked intimacy. Intimacy is very, very important to me and now I'm realizing how hard it is when you are with someone and that isn't occuring. A combination of busy schedules, being sick (me first then her), and a "time of the month" rolled in there have just reeked havoc.
I'm also just frustrated with her attitude again, I sometimes wonder if she's acting a certain way to push me away for whatever reason. I swear she sometimes just acts like a bitch, which I never thought I'd say. Seems like lately, nothing I do (or anyone else really) is right or good enough, that I mess things up, ect. I don't know why she's so insensitive... Just acting like a child through and through I guess. I was happy that I've not needed to call my mom all of time and preface the conversation with "well this is what happened now", which is just downright dramatic.
She made NYE plans without even telling me... I didn't know about it until, very awkwardly, I found out last night when her ex and her new gf were over for dinner. Granted, we hadn't made official plans but we'd talked about different options and I guess I made the mistake to think we'd spend that night together, not necessarily at home but at least together doing something. The one night out of the year when you REALLY want to have social plans and well... there ya go.
I'm just burned out right now... and cranky from no sex...
