I had my sleep consult on Wed. and have already scheduled my sleep study for this Sat. which was kinda shocking how fast this is going (as well as flippin' expensive). I tried to take a nap today but woke myself up not being able to breathe. The nap was one of those that just leaves you feeling poopy so that was a waste. I liked the doctor I met with, I would have preferred a woman and no the reason for that is not anything gay-related per se, I just feel more comfortable with women to begin with. Anyway, we had a good discussion and he was very supportive and was even talking about how he wanted to be my cheerleader and stuff which made me feel really good.
The main thing we decided was that weight loss was the simplest, most cost-effective way to deal with the issue. He mentioned surgery for my throat/nasal area but said that was up to me. I know I need to be healthier and getting rid of 50+ pounds certainly would do nothing but help me in the long run. He said the goal was for me to not need him eventually which made me laugh. If I lost enough weight the sleep apnea would go away on its own which is great.
Worst case scenario, I would have to get a CPAP machine to help me breathe at night while I'm sleeping so there's more money to be spent which just makes me nervous. I've been blessed to have not really needed health insurance until now. The study is very expensive and even though I scheduled it for Sat. I don't have the money set up yet. I may re-schedule, I don't know. I can't wait to have a restful night's sleep though, the idea is so amazing that it makes me want to cry. Hopefully, this start me down a path that will only lead to good things. I have had many a reading from people in the last year saying how great my life is or will be but I've just not been seeing it because of the stress I'm under and not feeling 100%. I know I'm in there somewhere and it's only a matter of time until I can bust out.
On a more irritated note (I just need to vent, which is why I type things in here now), I'm going to rant a bit. I had a conversation with someone earlier who said something that hurt my feelings. I had been at a comedy show with her earlier in the evening and when we got out she said she was going to go over to a mutual friend's apartment and wanted to know if I wanted to go. I knew that I couldn't stay long because I needed to be doing school work right now but I asked her how long she'd be there because if it was only going to be for an hour, I would just hitch a ride with her, something that I've done before but not very frequently. She got kinda flustered all of a sudden as said, "Well, why don't you drive? I never see you drive anywhere, you're always getting rides, ect." and I was like WTF and just kinda looked at her funny, only because I was shocked at what she said. I've always considered myself to be a courteous person and would never impose on anyone if I knowingly had any idea that was the case. I would never intentionally upset someone or burden them if I knew that's how they felt.
Furthermore, I was confused because I really don't see this girl very often and even when I do, it tends to be on campus where driving isn't necessary. So it made no sense to me why she felt I was taking advantage of her, I've caught a ride with her like once or twice a month tops, I even walked her to her car because she was alone the other night and she brought me back to my dorm. Sorry if that was taking advantage of you, I was just concerned for your welfare and didn't want you to get attacked or god forbid sexually assaulted. No, I'm the selfish one apparently.
Now, my thought process is this: You (and the guy we're friends with) now live off campus. You have the luxury of parking right in front of your door, whatever time of day or night it is. I, however, do not. If I find a parking spot close to my dorm, I get super excited since this doesn't happen very often. They know this too because it's a problem that every on-campus student has and before they moved off campus they had lived on campus for 3 years. My feeling is that since you live off campus, what's the big deal if I catch a ride somewhere if you're coming back this way anyway. Yes, I could very well drive, but I know that after about 10PM it's a miracle to find resident parking that is not out in the boonies. It's not like I can't find a spot, it's just a considerable distance to walk in the freezing cold and I've been sick for like two weeks now so traipsing around campus in the cold for no reason is fucking ridiculous and annoying.
Anyway, it just hurt my feelings. lol.
Either way I didn't end up going, I was majorly annoyed at that point after telling her that yes, in fact, I do drive around and just in general defending myself against someone that really is just not someone worth getting upset over. We're not super close and most of the time she gets on my nerves (i.e. Debbie Downer). I do care about her but she is constantly apologizing for everything, things that aren't even her fault, it's just sad. If I had a dollar for every time she said "I'm sorry" I'd have at least $100 before noon.
Why do I always attract the emotional strays? Blah.
