So... Obviously my last commentary was rather heavy. I'm ok now and just figured I'd write and addendum to it. My mood swings are not fun and they scare me to be honest, because right now I'm relatively fine, a far cry from 2 hrs. ago. I'm hoping when I go to the doctor next month (I have to wait till the 12th which I'm super ticked about but that's the situation) that I will find out what's going on inside of my body and hopefully that can put me on to a better track/path.
I am struggling with what I know and how to get to a better reality. I'm tired of feeling like I'm in a room with locked doors. I need to find that cracked-open window and bust the shit out if it so I can make my escape. That's what I hope will happen with the doctor. I want to care, to participate fully and stop feeling like such an apathetic fuck-up. I want to do well in school but I don't want to stop. I want to graduate in '09 and if I stop, I won't meet that goal. I waited so long to go back to school, which was the right thing to do but I don't want to stop again since I'll be 26 when I graduate and I don't to keep putting it off.
Sometimes, I just don't know where to start so I just give up and don't get anything done. There's so many things I need to deal with, it's just overwhelming.
