Everyday just seems to make me feel more dead inside, unhappy, and lonely. It is a beautiful, cool day outside but I'm sitting sequestered in my room, hoping someone will call me back or just call me since it's the weekend, but I'm pretty sure that won't happen. I believe that Mercury retrograding has really affected me and I'm very upset about it. My energy is so low, I just don't care.
Last night I realized that my soul feels malnourished. I've physically over-nourished my self but I feel emotionally, mentally, and spiritually bankrupt. I need respite and to get away from school, home, this whole flippin' state. I need clarity, I need to be rejuvenated and I feel just broken and lonely. I don't recall feeling like this ever so I'm scared right now too. I feel like I've just been subsumed by this and can't get out of it. I felt really good when I left Rebecca last week but it seems like the day after it has just gotten worse every day and I already felt down and out before I went there. Every day feels like rock bottom, and I just want to cry all the time, I feel so fucking depressed. No one calls me back which makes me feel even more alone.
I got my BIO lecture test back today. I got the lowest grade in the class, a 48. I feel so ashamed but I didn't study so what should I have expected? I'm certain now that my lab test will be the same, maybe a little better but still, pass would have to be 65 I think which is still shit anyway.
