I can't believe I'm back on here but I am. I had been using MySpace for some time to express my thoughts and such but just yesterday decided that I needed to break up with both it and Facebook. I'm so tired of those sites and am rather ashamed at how much time I spent on them when I could have been doing something productive like my homework.
I'm making the right decision though. I'm starting to get the feeling that there is another transformation going on within me that hasn't stirred for a while and it's an interestingly good feeling. I want and need change in my life, I know I have been walking down the wrong path now for some time. It's been a long journey and I don't know where it's going but I need this to happen and to get myself back together and in order. I was doing the best I had in years spring before last and then my dad took his own life. Part of that initial reaction is, of course, chronicled in the below posts. It was also before a relationship that took a turn in the wrong direction and wound up with me in a awful position but that is over now.
I want to get back to that place, before all of this happened. I felt so confident and knew things were happening that were good for me. I really found myself and I want to continue that process. I don't know how far this will go. I feel that some people will get left behind, people that are no longer needed in my life. I guess it's their time to cycle out, I don't know but I need to be open to the process and start taking action instead of reacting.
I know I can do this... Because I have to.
The phoenix will fly again.
