I went to the doctor for the first time in 5-6 years today.
She's pretty much convinced that I have sleep apnea. It scares me, it really does, to think that during the night I am actually not breathing. I'm starting to freak myself out enough about that I don't even want to go to sleep tonight... As if I may not wake up because I didn't breathe. I can't believe it's gotten to this point, I knew things were not good, that my health was very poor. I guess I just didn't think it was that bad. That I would have to wear some kind of mask over my face so that I can breathe regularly and healthfully at night.
I have most of the symptoms though, waking up tired, depression, memory problems, inability to concentrate, mood swings and irritability. On one hand I'm excited to finally find a name or a concept to slap onto this mess. On the other, I'm terrified. At least it's not cancer or AIDS, but it's still scary. I just want to feel better and alive again. I do remember what that felt like, it just seems so far away from my grasp right now.
She mentioned something about getting me into a sleep study and that they would call Friday about that. In the meantime, I was told to take a supplement which basically equates to 400 mg a day. Unfortunately for me, the pills I have are broken down into 50 mg so I'll be taking 8 pills a day. I know in the grand scheme of medicine that's nothing, but one thing I despise and am so very resistant to is taking medication on a regular basis. I just hate it and will avoid it if I can. I guess I no longer have a choice.
