I haven't posted in a while... I don't think October was a good month for me or to me. It really was a mess, and I don't know if that's because Mercury was retrograding (but I know that had a nice hand in it) or if it was something else.
I'm sad right now and I always end up writing only when I'm upset. I saw one of my best friends tonight that I never see anymore because he's always with his boyfriend. I miss him so much and it just made me depressed. His BF is out of town for the weekend but he didn't call and I'm still feeling too stubborn to call him. Why does it have to be when he's away that it would be feasible for us to hang out. It's not like we hung out tonight anyway, I just saw him in passing and he didn't offer to include me in whatever he was doing. It really hurt me. We're both acting like we don't care but I know it's just defense mechanisms. I do believe he misses me. I just wish that idiot would talk to me. I called him about 20 min. ago to see what he was doing and he was just going to go back to his apartment with his roommate, and just kept repeating how nothing was going on tonight. This is the first time we could hang out and I felt like he just blew me off. I felt like I was trying and was only met with resistance and/or indifference.
Just like my dad.
